It’s been an interesting week, one filled with triumph on some levels, and not quite tragedy (well, it seemed tragic at the time, but really  was just in my head) on another level. I came to Seattle with nine years of teaching under my belt, fairly confident that I should be able to find work with ease. But it turns out this is not the case. Instead, I am having to fight for it. It’s a feeling I am not used to, and it’s definitely thrown me for a loop.

In my quest to find teaching gigs, along the path, I have found myself in the role of student more frequently. And I am enjoying this time, to really hone my practice, to dive in and to get to know my body and breath again, on an intimate level. As I was teaching SO much in Chicago, I never really had the time to be a student the way I wanted to be. And here, in my new hometown, I am lucky to have a husband who’s willing to support my yoga habit while I take my time finding the right fit for me. It’s been a delightful experience, one I am not sure how long will last, but I am going to enjoy it while I have it.

This past Monday, I decided to go check out Troy Lucero and his Independent Study sessions at the Oddfellows Building. I headed out the door at 8am with my trusty Manduka and my Yogitoes, unsure of what to expect. I arrived and found about 15 people of all shapes, sizes and ages practicing in a ballroom with a disco ball on the ceiling (yeah, I wanted him to drop that puppy, but don’t think that’s gonna happen). It was exactly what I had been looking for, an opportunity to do my practice under the guidance of a man with 20 years of teaching experience. I started with my Surya A’s and B’s, and then he came over and gave me a few tips. After standing poses, it was time to see what my pincha mayrasana was doing on that day. He came over and we chatted a bit. He told me I was close and clearly had the connection to the plum line, where the hips where coming JUST over the shoulders. But then he said “You’re just gonna have to fight for it.” And it made sense. I was just going to have to keep trying, keep hitting the mat, practice, be patient and fight for it. Because Pincha, like life, is not easy. You gotta fight for it.

I walked out of practice that day, vowing to go back the next. And I did. And I learned a little more. And I am beginning to recognize the value behind the fight. Because if I fight for the pose, fight for the job, connect to that place inside me that KNOWS I am capable of doing anything, then I will nail it. It will take hard work, sweat, effort, a little cursing and some failure, but I know it will be worth it.